It feels like a wave crashed into you, and you are drowning in impending doom. “The second pattern feels like you’re being engulfed by negativity and worry. So what seemed like one problem propagates into a million other ones.” Then you realize that it’s 3AM and you have to get up at 6:30, and now you’re worrying about the fact that you can’t sleep, that you will be so tired in the morning, and your boss will see how tired you are, and off you go again. And round and round, the wild train goes. Or the little girl who refused to play with you in 3rd grade. Or that guy who stood you up 5 years ago. Like that colleague who avoided you because she didn’t want to confront you about something you did. You find nothing, so you figure the person must not like you. Suddenly, your mind sprints through all your recent tasks, looking for an error. You start thinking about all your recent interactions with the person, trying to figure out what you could have done to deserve that treatment. If you are a ruminator, you will immediately jump to the conclusion that his behavior had a hidden agenda. So let’s say that a colleague snubs you during a meeting. “The first pattern is like a line of dominoes: You have a negative thought that then feeds and breeds another, and then another. Jerabek, president of PsychTests, the parent company of Queendom. “Ruminating tends to follow one of two patterns,” explains Dr. 75% admitted that they want everyone to like them.61% engage in harsh self-talk - they insult themselves or call themselves nasty names.53% change their attitude, behavior, or appearance in order to please others.73% are not comfortable asking for what they want.66% panic when given a task that is outside their comfort zone.64% find it difficult to accept compliments.54% don’t feel confident about a decision unless others approve of it.59% said they feel so overwhelmed that they shut down completely.Īlong with their sense of helplessness, many ruminators struggle with self-acceptance.64% said that they get angry or sad when even the smallest thing goes wrong in their life.Ruminators struggle to adapt to life’s ups and downs, and to move on from disappointments and hardships. 54% see their life as being one problem after another.50% said they are never satisfied with what they have achieved.64% believe that it’s better not to get their hopes up, so that they don’t end up disappointed.Ruminators tend to view their life and the world through a rather dark filter. 62% avoid discussing touchy or sensitive subjects.51% admitted that they are high strung.64% said that they feel like they’re on an emotional roller coaster.Wayward thoughts trigger wild emotions, and vice versa. INABILITY TO REGULATE AND CHANNEL NEGATIVE EMOTIONS 60% said that they can’t figure out what they want out of life.74% admitted that it “terrifies” them not knowing what the future holds.
Keeping their mind in the present and being mindful is a struggle for ruminators. 73% admitted that it’s difficult to forget about their problems and just have fun.90% said they keep themselves up at night thinking about their problems.98% said that they tend to overanalyze situations, finding problems that don’t really exist.93% admitted that they spend hours reflecting on what people say to them, including offhand or seemingly innocent remarks.91% recognize that they have an obsessive mind.Ruminators’ proclivity for over-thinking likely won’t come as a surprise. Extreme rumination is the tendency to engage in repetitive and obsessive negative thinking.Īnalyzing data collected from 1,123 ruminators who took the Emotional Intelligence Test, Queendom researchers attempted to answer one seemingly simple question: What was it like to be in the mind of a ruminator? What they discovered was a world of chaos and spiraling negativity. In a world of instant messaging and people who intentionally film themselves doing painfully stupid things, the ability to deliberate carefully before taking action should be praised, should it not? But even thinking can be taken too far. We have the ability to learn and process complex information, store memories, as well as strategize and plan. The potential of the human brain seems limitless.
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